One of the most common worries that I hear from folks in their work with the EPI is: “If I feel this good, am I turning my back on those who are suffering?”
This concern is a close cousin to the Upper Limits Problem (ULP), one of the strangest and most compelling concepts I learned from Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks. They put the ULP this way in their groundbreaking book, Conscious Loving:
[The Upper Limits Problem] is the only problem you have to solve, because in a co-committed relationship you trade in all your former problems for this one: how to let yourself expand continuously into more positive energy. (pg 125)
One of my favorite tools to navigate an ULP is the Inner Map. I use this to discern the level of consciousness of the specific story I am telling myself—even hypnotizing myself into. For example, “I shouldn’t feel this good” might be at the level of Guilt, or “I don’t deserve to feel happy because there’s something wrong with me” is probably anchored in Shame. (You can download a copy of the Inner Map here so you can see what I’m referring to.)
However, as we move out of Reactive Brain into Creative Brain the stories we tell start to reflect expanded levels of consciousness like Appreciation, Love, Joy and Peace. These stories might sound like:
“I appreciate and savor the incredible details of my life;”
“I imagine someone I love easily and melt into my heart;”
“I experience joy when I think about my newborn niece;” or
“My body relaxes and opens to all that is, as I connect with the peace in this world.”
I’m starting to view ULPs as a symptom of something I’m calling JID–Joy Inhibition Disorder. You can detect your own version of JID by watching the thoughts that stream through your mind and noticing whether they’re anchored in Reactive or Creative Brain.
So, do you have JID? Check through these symptoms below:
In the past year, month or even today, have you:
- Stopped yourself from dancing to a great tune while at a stop light “because… what if someone is watching?”
- Had the thought: “In light of _____ (climate change, politics, suffering people somewhere), I don’t deserve to feel happy?”
- Chosen to: weed, look at your finances, sweep or do chores instead of doing something you want to do?
- Decided it was more important to work than take 5 minutes to:
- Dance
- Sing
- Laugh
- Play
- Sit in the sun
- Play
- Chosen to: keep looking at a “very important story” on social media instead of looking deeply into the eyes of an intimate other?
- Refused to smile in the middle of an argument—even though it was tempting?
- Worried that you might be TOO HAPPY?
If you answered YES to any of these–well, welcome to the human species.
We’ve focused on survival for so long* many of us are just not wired for joy…yet.
So, what’s the treatment for Joy Inhibition Disorder—JID??
–Recognizing where you are on the Inner Map
-Choosing creativity over reactivity
–Moving, breathing, and playing with simple ways to shift your physiology to a more expanded state.
-Shift to a place of wondering
-Get present by saying something unarguable
-Notice and be with what is right in this moment
Try one of those right now and see if you can start to move out of your own version of JID. Pretty much everything we practice at EPI is about shifting beyond JID. Check out our website if you want to hang out with folks who are interested in feeling better in every moment.
The real bottom line is that
THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU, there’s no “disorder” to treat! There are just new possibilities to explore and new choices you can make!
Blessings,
Julie Colwell
*and yay! that worked!