How You Can Help and Not Make Things Worse
Do you remember the story of the 80 person human chain that formed to rescue a family caught in a riptide?
It was in 2017. I went to look it up; watching this video now brings tears to my eyes and a big upwelling in my chest.
Before someone started filming the video, two boys had been caught in the riptide and were screaming for help. Their mother ran in, but also got caught; their grandmother tried as well, but could not free herself from the ocean’s strong current.
As a result of last week’s Boulder County fires, over 1000 structures were burned to the ground. It appears as though two people have died. Countless others are dealing with having lost beloved pets in the blaze, being totally displaced, losing their homes and all that was familiar inside of them.. During experiences like these, one’s very identity can seem to have disappeared forever.
Reactive Brain is survival brain, and has the adaptive function of helping us move through danger and crises. And, it also has a way of capturing us like a riptide, pulling us in with adrenaline, cortisol, emotions and stories that swirl through and take over, threatening to drown us.
What we can do instead is to notice our own Reactive Brain stories, and then consciously take steps to get back to the shore of Creative Brain. If it isn’t us caught in those churning throes, it’s essential to become focused on how we ourselves can stay grounded, else we fall in too–or turn away and disconnect so as to not be pulled under.
Some of the ways of grounding our bodies in Creative Brain include:
- Breathing and moving so that we can stay in contact with our bodies
- Letting ourselves fully experience our sensations and emotions, so as to help any reactivity to naturally move through
- Watching how we’re anchoring ourselves into Reactive Brain through repetitive thoughts and replacing those with more expanded thoughts. (from the fearful and despairing “this will never get better” to at least a more neutral “this is happening,” or maybe an accepting “I can accept that this is happening”
- Being sure we find connection with others
Solidly inhabiting states of Creative Brain while others are in whatever state they are allows us to provide support without getting swept out to the roiling seas of Reactive Brain.
On that miraculous day in Panama City, Florida, people instinctively knew to keep some people on solid ground while hanging on to the next person out in the water until finally, 80 people chained
together brought the family to shore.
Our challenge now is to ground ourselves in Creative Brain and then extend our resourced selves out to those in Reactive Brain, which truly is the answer to “How can I help now?” to deeply support each other and navigate this challenging time.
Want to explore the skills to Get to the Shore yourself, and find a way to be in connection with others caught in the current? As part of this human chain here are some resources that can support you–maybe someone you know.
Resources that may be supportive:
In this video, Julie walks someone through the stories at each level of the Inner Map. This is a powerful example of how we can shift our own thinking and ground ourselves in a new story above the line.
Thank you so much for staying in touch!
Please drop us a line if you have any questions.
Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.
-Edward Everette Hale